Casual Sex. Can You Have It?
Yes, you can. You can have sex with the cute guy at the bar, the girl you've been checking out in class, but the way you go about getting that other person in bed may look a little different with a herpes diagnosis. I'm currently in a committed relationship with someone I've known on and off since my age fell in the single digits. He is someone I truly trust. Disclosing was scary mostly because I really liked him and feared his reaction. I managed to keep myself together as best I could and explained that while I'm okay with my diagnosis, I understood if he wasn't. I offered any and all information I had about herpes. Having sex with someone you care about deeply while at the same time trying to keep him safe has been a strange, challenging and frustrating situation. Maybe this partnership isn't the best comparison to casual sex, but it's still relevant. Keep your partner safe. If that means suppressive therapy, condoms, and a zero-outbreak standard (my standard), then you're on the right track. I believe disclosing your diagnosis is the only fair and right way to have sex with another person. I've heard other arguments, that if you aren't having an outbreak it's safe and unnecessary to disclose, but I just wholeheartedly disagree. Everyone you sleep with deserves to know your status.